looking up

For the first time in far too long, I've had a good day. That is to say, a relatively binge-free day. I haven't counted in case I jinx it, but I didnt come home and immediately start looking for food. And I spent a good few hours traipsing around shops after school, in the heat. Haha. It's starting to look like there's hope. I've been feeling so incredibly fat for ages, and not without good reason as I'm still probably somewhere around 109 lbs. I can't weigh in yet, I'll get spooked like a horse. I cut again last night. I think part of what makes me do it is because of the feeling of accomplishment I get afterwards. It's as if I've actually made a difference even though it's not productive or anything. But they weren't that deep anyway. I just think its really funny that my upper arm looks like it has gills (10 lines, one for each pound I need to lose). It makes me giggle. Sorry for the lack of posts and comments; I've been to depressed to string words together. Also, I can't upload any thinspo pics from my iPad, will try and figure out how sharpish. Love and strength to everyone, thanks for reading and for your wonderful support.