Good news!

Not much time to blog right now but 110.8OMGGG!!!!! And it's after breakfast (200 cals but not having any other food today so it's ok)
In other news dads still being an arse and we have to go out as a family tomorrow. I hate few things more than family outings
Still, 110.8! Yay!

Sorry again

I've been missing off of blogger for ages, I know. Nothing much to report. It's half eleven at night, right now. I've been sleeping a lot and shaking now and again. Eating has been ok, a fairly steady and predictable pattern of a few mouthfuls of cereal, sometimes some grapes for lunch, one or two coffees and dinner. I've been staying off of counting calories and, although it seems like such a lot of food when I list it all, it's as little as I can do while everyone's on my back. My mother is constantly reminding me about eating more and saying that I haven't given her a leg to stand on when it comes to defending me to pushy teachers. Also my dads back and it's he'll. He's an arrogant git and a nuisance. I know, of course, it isn't healthy to say those things about my father and yes I love him really because he's family. But god. can we send him back to Australia? Anyway, my family relationships aren't exactly the most disturbing or unhealthy thing on this blog are they? Which brings me onto my last bit of news, I managed to nick one of my mum's replacement scalpel blades. I was considering stealing her new and very sharp filleting knife, wondering whether or not she would suspect me. By chance, I was using the scalpel to cut some paper. Isn't it lovely when everything just falls into place? It cuts much deeper than my knife and is easier to hide (in my mini sewing kit) ;)
Swimming at school on Monday, which I can't get out of since I faked a cold last week. Fucking PE is degrading enough but this... Well depending on how things pan out, it could be the end of my little secret and the beginning of counselling sessions and such. I know K looks at me when we're changing, and I can only hope it's because she suspects me, rather than anything more creepy. Probably so she can go and squeal to the teachers. Ok I know it's not fair to criticise someone for telling an adult of they're trying to help, but it's not that with her. She relishes it, spends all her time in the office just chatting to the nitch, mrs G. And when weld see her, she all K talks about. It drives me mad. Sorry, I'm ranting and I shouldn't. As you can tell, I'm not best pleased with anyone at the moment, but I'll go into more detail on that another time.
Weight has gone down finally from 15 to 13. There is hope.

Bad start

Today was the first day back at school and it sucked. Aside from lessons being awful I've realised that there is no way I can get out of eating. I could maybe handle having breakfast everyday since my mum watches, if I could cut back on anything else. But now I actually have to have lunch too. A little dish of pasta, cereal bar and a yoghurt which, even though I can miss out the latter two is still too much. And I have Em, who not only has nobody else to eat with, but suspected me previously of under eating. She's doing really well in recovery so I don't want to set her off again. Also she most likely knows all the tricks. K never has lunch with us anymore which is annoying because it means that I can't leave Em on her own. (don't get me wrong it's not that I don't enjoy being around her it's just that I don't want to have to eat) unless I can find a way of getting around it, I'll just have to deal with teachers on my back. It seems a shame because my mother was so sure that I was fine and I hate to make her feel foolish after fighting for them to stop bothering me. Now she keeps commenting on me not eating enough. Now schools started she says she wants me to try and do three meals a day. Stuck between a rock and a hard place. Hope you're all in a better position!