I went into dartford with my mum today to get a new school skirt. The lady handed me a 26 waist, which was way too big. But it reminded me to measure myself at some point. I might do that today and post it. Then we went into Subway and she forced me to eat, no matter how many times I told her I wasn't hungry. Ergh... I miss the empty feeling...
I don't know what I'm going to do when I go back to school; one of my friends, Em, is a recovering anorexic and always notices if I don't eat. I hate making her worry and I really want her to get better but I hate myself when I eat and feeling fat. I know it's hypocrisy but aren't we all hypocrites really? I don't consider myself to be anorexic- I'm not thin and i've not been put in hospital. A few of my friends have made comments about it and have said that I am but I just don't think I have a real problem. I'm just as uninteresting as the next person, only I eat less and think much more. At least I have a few days at home left and a group of friends are staying over tonight. I'm going to walk down to the post office to buy some snacks and things. I feel like I want to watch them eat, it makes me feel strong. Self control is like a muscle- every time its used, it gets a little stronger.
Breakfast:
1 cracker- 33 cals
Lunch:
Half of a 6" veggie sub- 137 cals
Dinner:
Nothing
Snacks/Bimges:
1 cracker- 33 cals
3 Ricola sugarfree sweets- 18 cals
Total:
218 cals
No comments:
Post a Comment