I ate so much yesterday, I'm afraid to weight myself. Why can't I just fucking keep control?! I felt so full and I got so angry at myself; I wanted to eat more just to hurt myself. That was fuller than I've been in months. At least I remember how it felt and I'm not going to let it happen again. I rememebr feeling so sick- it was horrible. I'm being better today. Em's coming over at half past 2 so I have to tidy up etc. I can't let her see that I'm 'avoiding food' as my teacher puts it, or else she might freak. Still, I can't bear for her to see me so fat either. I feel really embarassed- she must think of me as her fat friend! I cut my wrist last night, as my leg needs to heal up in time for school. Believe it or not, it's more conspicuous on my leg than my wrist- it's a long story... haha...
(pm) I weighed myself! I was so nervous and just hoping it wouldn't be over 108 lbs. My weight hasn't changed- still 106.2 lbs! I'm so pleased but also wondering if my scales are broken....? My stomach just growled for the first time in ages. *sigh* ahhh, Ive missed being empty :)
FoodToday
Breakfast:
1 cracker- 33 cals
1 mug of Twinings fruit tea- 2 cals
Lunch:
Nothing
Dinner:
1 slice of pizza- 200 cals
2 slices of garlic bread- 106 cals
Snacks/Binges:
Nothing
Total:
341 cals
More than I'd like really- there are so many calories is pizza! Still, I sometimes forget that for some people, 300 cals is a meal. Haha!
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