Been home sick this week, ate a lot, cut a lot. Just hating everything, really. I'm always going to be a useless, fat lump of good-for-nothing. It just feels futile. I'm daydreaming about being so very thin. One day, Maybe it will happen. But for now, I'm fat and I can't do anything right,
There is always something to be done. Sometimes amidst an enormous binge, I am able to stop myself simply by knowing that if I continue that is another extra bit of fat that i am going to have to account for later. I mean. It makes virtually no difference. Step one, is just to put the food down. I threw away my blades a few months ago and since then, the only times that things have gotten bad have ended up with my trying to hurt myself with shitty kitchen knives and those don't do have the damage. Stupid little scratches really. ANYWAY. You are beautiful. And we are always here for you. XO
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