Plans

So he's what happened today. My group of friends wanted to go and see a film in the morning, so I went along but after I paid for my ticket I started to feel really depressed. I mean, enough that I couldn't hide it from them which is pretty rare. I knew that I wanted to be anywhere but there so I made an excuse and left. But instead of taking the bus back, I went into the loos and started cutting. I had my razor blade in my bag just I'm case and I'm glad I had it. I cut pretty deep into my arm and I could see white and pink stuff for a minute before the blood came. And when it did, I tried to wash it away in the sinks, but there was just watered down blood everywhere and a few people started to look. Anyway, I slapped a plaster on it and haven't looked since. My mum came to pick me up because I told her I was feeling ill. The rest of today, she's done nothing but tell me to eat. I just feel really isolated and I know bailing on my friends wasn't about to help that but I don't really know why I do anything anymore, so I can't explain that for you.
Today, I've had three pieces of chocolate and I threw some toast out of the window and told people I'd eaten it.